I will be leaving home in a few hours heading to the NC coast for time alone. I have never gone on a retreat, vacation, etc purposefully alone.
I am excited. I can't wait to get in the car and turn on the music and sing at the top of my lungs. Actually, I will probably hum along since I just got my voice back. This past week and a half I heard lots of things I would not have heard if I could have been talking.
I am nervous. Will I be able to get the water and electricity turned on in the house where I have never stayed. Will my prayer time exceed my expectations? Will I be ready to hear what God has to say to me? Will I get scared staying by myself? I use to be really afraid of staying by myself when I was first married.
I am sad. I romanticized this vacation week. Time alone with my husband - he has to work this weekend. Time with friends - no one could fit time off in their schedule.
I am quiet. I can already feel the need to just be quiet, to listen. I already feel the need to step back and look.
In October 2009, my Momma gave me the devotional book - Streams in the Desert. In fact she gave several of these books away right after my daddy passed away. She wanted us to be comforted the way she was being comforted. (My sister, Lorie, has used this devotional book for years. She got us all started on this.) I say this to share the verse I read this morning as I began my quiet time.
Have faith that whatever you ask for in prayer is already granted you and you will find that it will be. Mark 11:24
This word from my LORD brought tears to my eyes. He already knows what is going to happen in NC with me, He already knows what will be accomplished with us, He already knows. . . . . .
Then I read the notes from previous years written on the devotional page for Feb 18:
2010 - Learning a new way to pray, Listening to Believing God in the car, Reading So Long Insecurity, Studying Me, Myself & Lies, Beginning Purposely Engaging and Actively Responding to Life.
2011 - Wondering - Am I a "secretary"? Am I the "Stage Manager"? Where do YOU want me OH LORD?
I did not know on Feb 18, 2010 or Feb 18, 2011 that on Feb 18, 2012 I would be going to spend alone time with God.
So I am going to take God at His Word and "HAVE FAITH" that ponderings/prayers with God in 2010 and 2011 will be revealed in 2012.