Saturday, April 2, 2016

NEED TO CATCH UP

April 2, 2016

Thursday was a really long day for me.  Didn't get home from work and other responsibilities until after 8pm.  Friday night after cooking dinner, my husband and I went to a local restaurant to hear a local singer.  He was one of our son's friends growing up.  Two days without writing.  And now today, I have the bug that is going around.  Hopefully will feel well enough later on to catch up.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

PURPOSELY - Intentional, deliberate

March 30, 2016

Life -  The living response to everything around me.

Once a month I leave my place of work and travel for the day marketing outpatient rehab services.  I usually get home an hour earlier on these days since I do not break for lunch.  I usually eat my lunch in the car while I am driving from place to place.  This week I just happen to have almost an hour of overtime, too.  As I began my travels this morning, I decided since I would be home earlier than usual I would go ahead and write for an hour.  Then the dreaded but anticipated writing time would be done for the day.

Just above I said that I decided.  I didn't say that I purposely decided.  I didn't say I intentionally decided.  I didn't say I deliberately decided.  I just decided.  Along the way I did not eat my lunch in the car as I usually do.  I was not just hungry when I arrived at home, I was shaky.  You know that feeling when you wait too long to eat and you're not only hungry but you would knock someone down if they got in the way of you eating the lunch you packed in a cooler.  It took almost too much time to get a plate out of the cabinet, open the cooler that held my packed lunch, and put my food on the plate.  Then I just ate.  I can't say I enjoyed my lunch because I ate way too fast and ended up eating way too much.  Oh and I turned on the television as I was eating.  Not a good idea.  AND I drank a diet drink (which I haven't had in a long time).  

I didn't purposely decide any of those things.  I just decided I needed to eat, I needed something to drink, and I wanted to be distracted.  So I ate and drank and was distracted.  To top it off I played a game on my telephone while listening to the television and finished all of that off when I ate a nutty buddy.  

My hour was gone.  

Did I do anything wrong?  No, I didn't.  BUT. . . . 
     what if I had decided intentionally to eat my lunch in the car?
     what if I had decided deliberately to write for one hour when I arrived at home?
     what if . . . . . .

Let me answer the two questions above.
    -  what if I had decided intentionally to eat my lunch in the car?
          I would have felt better physically.  I would not have been focused on feeding myself when I arrived at home.  Let's look at the last sentence.  "I would not have been focused on feeding myself".
               You see it because it is in red.  I was focused on myself.
     - what if I had decided deliberately to write for one hour when I arrived at home?
          I thought about writing while I was driving.  Writing didn't even enter my thoughts when I arrived at home until I had already eaten, was listening to the television and playing a game on my telephone.
               You see it again.  Fed myself, listening with my ears to my television, playing a game on my telephone.
     - what if. . . I had intentionally, deliberately, purposely put down my telephone, turned off the television?
               Honestly, I didn't feel like writing after I had eaten more than I needed, drank a diet drink, and was engrossed in my game.  

All of this to say that I was not Purposely Engaging and Actively Responding to Life.  I was just reacting to the circumstances that I set into motion.  

Nothing I did was bad.  Well, the overeating wasn't wise at all.  I may not be hungry for dinner and then that cycle of getting too hungry will just happen again.  But, again, nothing I did was bad.  I just was not purposely engaging and actively responding to the extra time I had on this day.

I've got some ideas to think about as I purposely enter into my evening at home.




          

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Don't know what to title this entry!

March 29, 2016

Life -  The living response to everything around me.


I haven't been writing everyday.  In fact it's been over a week.  So many reasons.  Some valid.  Some not so.  My son and his wife visited over the Easter weekend.  So that can explain away two days.  I could go back over the past week and probably come up with why I haven't written.  The why would be some really big excuses.

I haven't written several times because it is hard.  It is hard to redirect my energy after working all day.  It is hard to be disciplined.  It is hard to not just sit on the couch and look at my telephone while listening to television.  It is hard.  It is hard.  It is hard.

Putting these words down is a challenge.  The challenge for me is that I don't want to be embarrassed. I don't want to misspell words, make grammatical mistakes, sound like a kid.  I don't want to hear that this writing is not good.  That's a lot of "I don'ts", isn't it?  It is, also, not purposely engaging and actively responding to life.  It's very similar to the saying,

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.” -William James  http://www.successories.com/iquote/category/575/choice-quotes/3
So I've not been purposeful about my writing this "term paper". I've struggled with keeping my thoughts together.  I have never written on my laptop first.  I usually write some kind of outline on paper, you know the old fashion way, and then I flesh it out.  Trying to remember what I've already written is difficult without having notes all around me.  So why am I telling myself that this can't be done when people write a gazillion blogs a day.  People do it.  I'm a people.  So I should be able to do this thing I'm given myself to do.  

Here we go. . . .

What is it in my life that I want to purposefully engage and actively respond to?
     It's this challenge.  It's this P.E.A.R.L. thing.  
What is my purpose in engaging and actively responding in this activity?
     At the moment it's that I just want to say I'm finished with it.
What is going to get me engaged in this project?
     The fact that I have a goal - BE FINISHED - is engaging me.
What is going to keep me actively moving forward?
     The goal - BE FINISHED!  And that is the truth.  
What is my response going to be?  What is it going to be for real real??     
     I am going to make the choice to write everyday.  Instead of reacting to the roadblocks that come my way, I am going to check the roadblock out and then respond to it.  

I actually want to stop and write about reacting and responding from a personal experience. In 2005, during my annual employment review, I was asked what my goals for the coming year were. I don't have any idea what I said in reply.  I do remember that my director looked at me and said, "I have a goal for you for the coming year.  I want you to work on responding to situations instead of reacting to situations."  I did gain much knowledge while she was my director, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life changed as a result of the statement she said to me.  I slowly began watching my behavior.  I became aware of reactions versus responding.  In the past 11 years, I have grown and matured because of many influences in my life.  One of the biggest influences was the statement made to me during that annual review.

I will make better progress if I print out these blogs I am writing and place them in a notebook.  Then I can mark them up, make notes as ideas come to me throughout my day.  I believe it will keep me interested.  I believe it will lead to excitement.  It can't hurt.

And yeehaa - the timer just went off.  An hour is up.  Until tomorrow evening.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

The living response to everything around me.

March 21, 2016

Life -  The living response to everything around me.

As I was getting ready for this day, I decided all of my work on this little project will begin with my definition of Life.  

I will research, I will contemplate, I will write knowing that what I am doing is the living response to everything around me.

I can not even begin to imagine how much has been written to define "life".  I haven't even completed a search just to see.   


If someone were to look up the definition of "life" they would discover the following:

From http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/life
Simple Definition of life
: the ability to grow, change, etc., that separates plants and animals from things like water or rocks
: the period of time when a person is alive
: the experience of being alive

From https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=life%20definition
life
noun
: the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
"the origins of life"  
: the existence of an individual human being or animal.

March 22, 2016

Life - the living response to everything around me.

From http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=life&allowed_in_frame=0


Old English life (dative lif) "existence, lifetime, way of life, condition of being a living thing, opposite of death," from Proto-Germanic *libam (cognates: Old Norse lif "life, body," Dutch lijf "body," Old High German lib "life," German Leib "body"), properly "continuance, perseverance," from PIE *leip- "to remain, persevere, continue; stick, adhere" (see leave (v.)). Much of the modern range of meanings was present in Old English. Meaning "property which distinguishes living from non-living matter" is from 1560s. Sense of "vitality, energy" is from 1580s. Extended 1703 to "term of duration (of inanimate objects)." 

Life-jacket is from 1840; life-preserver from 1630s of anything that is meant to save a life, 1803 of devices worn to prevent drowning. Life-saver is from 1883, figurative use from 1909, as a brand of hard sugar candy, from 1912, so called for shape. Life-form is from 1861. Life cycle is from 1855.

A little detour - I have three very close friends.  they are my prayer warriors, my confidants, my Bible study partners.  They are my friends.  And one of their daughters has joined us in praying through email.  So their are five of us that will send out prayer requests, send out prayers of thanksgiving. This morning I sent the following to them.

Some of you are using Ann VosKamp's  Joy Dare.  If you're not, the Joy Dare for this day is to find "3 gifts found in His word".

I wrote in my journal the following:

In the Beginning 
(if you have 34.35 minutes to listen to Dick Lincoln's March 13th sermon, go online and listen.  The entire sermon is from Genesis 1:1.  I've listened to it three times and will go back again.)
Do not be afraid.
(last year I researched the NIV and found these words are said 70 times.)
I am going to prepare a place for you.
(I went to a gender reveal party on Sunday.  When I drove up I saw about 15 cars and didn't recognize any.  I almost left.  I am so uncomfortable going to any place if I'm unsure if I will know who is there.  So glad I know Jesus is waiting for me in His place.)

What three gifts do you find in His word?

I've found a third definition source for life and I've sent out an email to my friends and now it is time for prayer.  I don't know if I will write any more this morning.  If you read this page, please leave a comment telling me your definition of life.  If you are a follower of Christ and wish to join me in the "3 gifts found in His word" please do so.



Thursday, March 17, 2016

QUIET TIME and then

Wednesday, March 16
I have reached the time in my life when most of my mornings can actually include a time that is quiet. I can hear the the breathing of our dog, Lucky.  I can hear a bus pass my house.  I can hear the soft noise my computer makes.  I can hear quiet.

I am thankful for this time of quiet when I can spend time praying, reading a devotion, reading my Bible, thinking.

Just thinking.

And in this time of thinking I've decided that to define LIFE in the TERM PAPER, P.E.A.R.L., I can not begin at the end and work backwards.  I must begin at the beginning.  I will enter into a time where I will mirror P.E.A.R.L. with . . . . .

Life's Response to Actively Engaging with Purpose.  Look a little closer.  Do you see it?  It's backwards P.E.A.R.L.  My Life's Response will be to Actively Engage with Purpose.  My Purpose will be to complete this TERM PAPER.  So. . . . .

I will walk through defining purposely.  I will walk at this point so that my energy and enthusiasm can build.

Defining the first major word, purposely, will direct me on to the path of the second word, engaging.
Engaging will definitely send me on my way to defining actively.  And at this point I will make myself not move to quickly as I define responding.   Because I do believe at this point I will be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Then I will run, not walk, to define life.

Thursday, March 1
I just reread my post from Tuesday, March 15th.  I defined LIFE at the end of that post as:

     The living response to everything around me.

Then yesterday I wrote the above post and didn't publish it because I wanted to read it again.  In that post I changed my plan.  Not a bad idea.  BUT. . . . .

I have discovered that I keep going back to the definition from Tuesday in all of my thoughts.  I going to stick with that right now.

    LIFE is the living response to everything around me.


Monday, March 14, 2016

ONE HOUR

March 14, 2016

Outline
1.  Define LIFE without researching, just off the top of my head
2.  Return to definitions of LIFE on previous post
     review and find what I want to use
3.  Summarize LIFE using the first two steps
4.  Take a nap

I am not working today.  I am so relaxed and just plain happy.  I've cleaned my house, seen my doctor for a checkup, washed linens and clothes, prepared lunch for my husband, played a game on my phone, and now I'm beginning to write my "term paper".

"Term Paper"!!!  

Do people even call assignments "term papers" anymore?  To accomplish the goal of completing P.E.A.R.L. I've decided to call it a "term paper" and just work on it until it is finished.  And that's where the title of this post - ONE HOUR - originated.  I will write for ONE HOUR and then stop for the day.  I will write for ONE HOUR every day until it is completed in at least the rough draft form.  I do believe I can write for ONE HOUR.  Now there are many things in my LIFE that I can't do for ONE HOUR.  And now I have officially gone off on a tangent.  So enough of that.  Back to the outline written above.

Life to me will be defined totally from my perception of the right now.
     I plan on using inductive questions using the who, what, when, where, why, and how.
          I will use those questions out of the above order as I define my life.

Beckie's life is an ever-changing existence.
     It is fluid within the limits placed on me by family, work, friends, and my own choices.    
          It is fluid even when I think it may be stagnant.

(ONE HOUR is up! This is not as easy as I thought it would be.)

For me life is defined by my past, my present, and my future.

I am a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a friend, a wife, a mother, an aunt, a CTRS, a Bible teacher, a writer, a swimmer, a walker, a driver, a reader, a case manager, a committee member.  That's all I can think of at the moment.

I said it above.  This is not as easy as I thought it would be.  Defining LIFE without a dictionary in front of me.  The dictionary would take all of the struggle away.  It would give me the answer.  And as I sit here contemplating this definition I find myself thinking of my friends that are so quick to come up with answers to hard questions.  Wonder how they would define LIFE.

I've spent the past hour and a half thinking and writing, I've folded another load of laundry, I've answered a text, I've deleted/erased a whole page of rambling, I've been living life.

I did not complete the above outline.  But that is not a bad thing.  I did begin (again) and I will continue.

For me at this moment in time LIFE is the living response to everything around me.

I 'll pick up here tomorrow.










Saturday, January 30, 2016

P.E.A.R.L. - a new beginning

Almost 6 years ago I was asked to consider developing a CEU course for a local agency targeting recreational therapists.  I was very excited and then proceeded to not to complete the task.  During the past 6 years I've begun and stopped, begun and stopped, begun and stopped, . . . . . you get the picture.

I've begun again.  

Part of this beginning will be putting my notes, research, essays, etc on this blog.  If anyone wishes to use any part of this, please give me credit.  In other words I'm saying my work is my work and I am stating it is copyrighted.  Thanks.

P.E.A.R.L

I really like real cultured pearls.  They are feminine.  They are white - one of my favorite colors to wear.  They are smooth and feel silky to my touch.  They are the product of an irritation.  They come in all sizes.  The ones I own have been given to me by people that I know love me without reservation.  They make me smile.  

The idea for the acronym came to me one day during my quiet time with God.  I was writing my prayer in my journal and jotted this down:

P - purposely
                    E - engaging and
                                       A - actively
                                                         R - responding to
                                                                                 L - life

Purposely Engaging and Actively Responding to Life!!

On 01-12-16 I wrote the following in my journal and now it's becoming how I will attack writing this whatever it turns out to be.  I am quoting from my journal - even the misspelled stuff.

The day after the 2015 NCAA National Championship.  Clemson lost - what does this teach me about

Life - it's not all about losing a game.  What a game!
Responding - I've taken the time to respond because words/actions can never come back
Actively - I will actively choose what to say to bring glory to God's name.  I will think about Phil 4:8
Engaging - I will not shy away from interaction with others to avoid hearing the Tigers lost
Purposely - (looked up the definition for the hundredth time) on purpose, intentionally  with a deliberate or express purpose/ (then I looked up purposeful for the hundredth time) Purposeful - having a purpose, full of determination

.L.R.A.E.P - mirror image

We are in life; it is happening
We can choose to respond to life or react to life
When we choose responding we are actively participating, we are moving in a reverse direction
When we engage we are holding attention, we are occupying, attracting or involving others
So we want to be intentional/purposely attracting/involving others in our responding to all of life.

01-28-16
Google definition - Life
1.  the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction,

141. A beginning up above PEARL (I began writing down my joys three years ago when I discovered Ann Voscamp's blog - www.aholyexperience.com )  "141." is the number of this "joy" I wrote.  Numbers in the future will come from my joys.

LRAEP       Life's Response to Actively Engaging with Purpose

Life continued (from Google definition)
functional activity, and continual change preceding death
2.  the existence of an individual human being or animal.

www.merriam-webster
:  the ability to grow, change, etc., that separates plants and animals from things like water or rocks
:  the period of time when a person is a live
:  the experience of being alive

Full definition
1.a:  the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body
   b:  a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings
   c.  an organismic state characterized by capacity for metablolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction.

took a break to get ready for work - looked up life in the Urban Dictionary - worldly definition turned my stomach.  Then decided to use my NIV Exhaustive concordance.  Life is used ~ 592x in my NIV.  WOW - too much research before work.  Time to study SEAMLESS (bible study by Angie Smith)

I used some of my time this morning to begin seeing how many different Hebrew and Greek words mean life.   Oh my!  This looks like something I would love to do - word study.  But I truly think it is just a distraction.  I am not going to pursue an exhaustive search of that word in the Bible.  

I've lots of ideas on how to pursue this research.  Because of my education, my profession as a Recreational Therapist, part of my research will involve others completing a daily activity for 30 days.  I am praying about who to ask to participate.  My initial idea after the development of the daily P.E.A.R.L. plan is to have a male and a female from the following age groups participate for 30 days:
     5-12 years old - a parent will be involved
     13-17 years old - a parent will be involved
     18-25 years old 
     26-39 years old
     40-49 years old
     50-59 years old
     60-69 years old
     70-79 years old
     80-89 years old
     90-99 years old
     100+

There are so many ideas, plans, books in print and on the internet.  I do not want to reinvent anything. My purpose in developing P.E.A.R.L. is to:

1.  complete a task I was invited to do six years ago and
2.  continue to be intentional in responding to life vs reacting to life.

There you have it.  I can't wait to see what I learn and how long it takes me to complete this six year old task and get on with Purposely Engaging and Actively Responding to Life.